Pairs

Sparkles and sparklers light up her soul

In a symphony of island waves that crash

Along the edges of her mouth is truth

Inside the curve of her smile live lies

 

Shadows and shyness meet up in her mind

Corrupting the spirit of the animal inside

Trying to walk into light to find a solution

She finds the weakness in searching alone

 

Conformity and compromise wait patiently

Behind the counter of “to never come”

Embracing destiny instead of freedom

Touching sensation but never grasping it

 

Love and lust dance with her heart

Breaking and banding stitches over wounds

Creating life in the middle of a grave

Insinuating the pain is far away

Warrior

In the midst of the war

The warrior looks for weakness in her opponent

A shift in his stance

A shift in his stare

But all she sees is his surrender

 

His face emotionless

A pinch of regret

A dab of sympathy

A handful of goodbyes

But all she sees is a possibility for battle

 

In the desert of chaos

She desperately longs for movement

Something she can hit

Something she can break

But all she sees is illusions

 

In the midst of war

A warrior fights an impossible war

No one can fight against indifference

No one can fight against an empty heart

But war is all she sees

I’m afraid

I’m afraid when I die, I’ll miss you

I’ll see you in the corners of an abyss

Or feel you in the void of chaos

I’m afraid when I die, I’ll remember you

That memories will fill my finite mind and all I’ll remember is your rejection

Or memories of your lying affection

I’m afraid when I die, you’ll be there

Calling my name so many times that it loses meaning

Or chanting your own to give meaning to words with no sound

I’m afraid when I die, I’ll kill you

That I’ll remove the shield that held you together

Or make it more grandiose

I’m afraid when I die…I’ll become your question mark

I want so badly to be your exclamation point

Though I’ll likely become a period

I’m just afraid

Sitting beside the sweater you gave wishing you’d hold my face

And lie to me like no other

Telling me “It’s all gonna be okay.”

Where are you?

The angels look for me but I’m not there

Not in a dark room or in someone’s stare

I’m not in the colors; for I have no shade

I’m not in darkness, because I’m scared

The devil calls for me but I can’t hear

I’m trying too hard to disappear

I’m not in the wind or in the ocean

I’m not in love or in devotion

You touch me but I can’t feel

The dry subtle notes of “I’m not in love with you”…reveal

I’m not in your heart or in your mind

I’m not in your thoughts. You’re not longer mine

I’m in the soul you tore apart

I’m in the body that’s leaving tonight

I’m in the breath that told you goodbye

I’m in the child that left me behind

I’m here.